Healing your inner child, or doing inner-child work, has become a topic of increased popularity. Just search up #innerchild and #innerchildhealing on social media and you’ll see. But what is it and what does it really mean? (Read more after my poem)
If you are to find,
Go within your mind.
.
The perspective you need,
Is found by taking the lead.
.
Taking the lead,
By planting a seed.
To water and love,
Then it will rise above.
.
The perspective you found,
Was being crowned.
.
So dear all kings and queens,
Self-love is all that it means.
.
For when you are fulfilled and whole,
You can share more than a soul.
Happiness is a bliss,
And I will say this:
Be the sunshine in life,
There is no need for a strife.
Share a smile,
And wear it with style!
Spread your wings,
And forget about all unimportant things.
/CG
You, yourself, and your inner child
Your inner child is the “true/original version of yourself” and can explain many patterns of behavior later in life. Healing your inner child is therefore all about connecting with yourself by recognizing and being aware of oneself, and maybe finding out how to meet your needs and/or change patterns of behavior today you don’t like/find favorable. This could be people-pleasing tendencies and a hard time saying “no”, seeking validation from others, overthinking, being highly critical of yourself or others, not being able to be alone or afraid of being yourself around others, and so much more.
How do you become better acquainted with yourself and your inner child?
By taking time for yourself and taking responsibility for your own wellbeing: thinking, reflecting, and taking actions. This could be done by:
- Meditation/breathwork
- Writing: a timeline of your life or a letter to yourself
- Be honest about your patterns of behavior; reflect on possible explanations from your life and childhood (traumas, episodes?) – which needs weren’t met and/or are not met today? Which actions could you take to have these needs met today?
- Talking with a professional therapist
Inner child work is not only about bringing up the past and your “not so favorable” behavioral patterns. More importantly, it’s about knowing yourself fully and truly to be happy in life.
No one is happy all the time, nor should we, for life needs balance, and to truly apricate the good, there must be some bad. However, in order to flourish and sincerely be happy in life, you must know yourself. Therefore, inner-child work is also about finding back to earlier hobbies and interests which gave you joy as a child. Maybe you could take up an old, loved hobby again? Drawing? Painting? Walking in nature? Playing football with friends just for fun? Do tricks with a ball? Reading? Photographing? Make a scrapbook or collage? Create music (DJ, play an instrument)? Or even try something new you always wanted to try, but haven’t yet?
Try to remember how you looked at that hobby as a child, and how you felt when doing it. Most likely you’ll remember a mindset of having fun, being explorative and endless possibilities – not how your later teenager-self, and even later adult, became self-aware of the lack of skills, knowledge, or talent…..
When was the last time you did something just for fun? You don’t have to be good at everything, go do something just for the fun of it – take up that hobby you used to love so much and get to know yourself in the process.
Have fun – just fun, with no pressure of having to “accomplish” something. You’re a terrible painter (or so you say)? Who cares, just have fun with the paint and brushes, or even better – just use your hands. You’ve always wanted to do cartwheels? Go to a park or make space in your living room, do cartwheels, or attempts of such, until you’re dizzy and laughing. If you loved playing with a ball, go juggling freestyle or ask a few friends if they’re up for a round of football?
Point being is to take time to know yourself truly, heal, and have fun. Put your wellbeing as a priority and make time for joy in your life. Do more of the things making you happy, without thinking of accomplishment or “having to do something” in the sense you “must”. Try not to grow up so quickly while doing all #adulting things – be playful and let your inner child out. “I get to” play football with my friends, paint for an hour a week, read a book before bedtime… The process may be hard, but if you have kids of your own at this point in life, look at and to them – take in their perspective: Join their playing instead of just observing and ensuring safety; join at the trampoline, on their muddy adventures in the forest, during their cartwheel practice, when drawing and painting everywhere, in their videogames/PC/PlayStation and so on.
/Love & Light, CG
CG Art & Poetry 