Currently, I’m quite ill, which is why I canceled the book launch event until further notice and have been quieter in SoMe… Through a lot of doctors’ appointments checking me head to toe, I’ve been keeping my spirit and hopes up by ridiculous jokes – maybe you have followed on Instagram and you know, – a little on the dark side, but at least they’re funny (or I like to think so). In any case, we are working towards finding out whatever it is, but to my frustration, but also a blessing of quiet, words of poetry have been far away and my mind (disturbingly?) quiet – probably because the only things I do is pretty much sleeping way too much, doctors appointment and eating – then repeating. However, I’ve honestly also gone through a lot of emotions and when I had a day of a tiny bit more energy, the words came pouring out again.

Please read the poem and words with an open mind and do not take it so heavily to heart – my words helped me get out my emotions of being scared, feelings of helplessness, anger, and sadness, but I’m not dying and I’ll get back on my feet soon enough; however, it’s written from a very emotional perspective… Contrary, maybe someone else out there is experiencing something similar, or far worse (though I severely hope not) – someone unique who now may have a few words for their situation, emotions, experience, perspective, or however one would like to phrase it of trying to capture a part of life.

I hope my poem, and poems, may guide you, or wake something underneath – cause underneath it all, who are you at your core?

Fuck Life Sometimes

Fuck life sometimes,
All these fucking climbs.
Fuck the upper there, God, Allah, Universe, or whatnot,
Their lessons and their plot.
Fuck the journey when the destination blurs out,
No light at the end of the tunnel in sight,
Just yet another fight.
How many fights before some light?
Thank you for the lessons and hell,
Sure, made me strong with stories to tell.
Contrary, I’m far too close to the ring of the church bells,
My life feels like a jail cell.
.
No work,
No workout,
No walk,
Almost no talk,
Nor friends and fun,
Projects on pause and life too,
Yeah, this girl barely put on shoes.
Bed rest with food, sleep, and repeat,
Add in a range of doctors to find,
Whatever is going on but digging deep in their mind.
A special case of some,
They’re not dumb,
But finding the cause is far from close,
Yeah, who the fuck knows?
.
So here I am, in bed to sleep and sleep some more,
It’s such a bore.
Dreams of the life I had and of what I want,
It’s like life is all “a dream within a dream”,
But what happens when the sand runs out,
Yet another time I doubt.
.
High hopes for a living,
Please be a little more forgiving.
Hopes for the morning, sunshine, and light,
But life is so far from bright.
.
Yet I climb, yet another time,
And I rhyme,
But it feels like my life is running out of time…

/Love & Light, CG

My debut book “A Poetry Collection of The Broken and The Divine” is out for sale on Amazon (paperback and e-book). Keep posted for the book launch event in, hopefully, the near future.